Welcome! This site is to help us adults hear the children in our lives better. I have spent my life learning to hear what children have to tell us. I also train others how best to listen for the children’s voices in their lives.

“We who are trained to witness children carry an especially delicate responsibility. We are also asking of ourselves to understand a minority population from which we ourselves often carry bruises and scars. Understanding the implicit world of the child takes energy and curiosity.”

-Dott

Dott is a children’s therapist, a supervisor, and a trainer in the work with children, attachment, and trauma. Working with children, she has become a teacher from the children’s spaces and stories they have revealed. In the deepest respects, children have been Dott’s teachers. 

Relationship

Jamie has been adopted.  She is now four years old.  She still isn’t sure that these parents will stay around.  She and I have sung a song I made up from a favorite book of hers, called “I’ll Love You Forever”. Today she pushes further then any previous moment.  She tells me to sing our song.  “But wait! I’m the baby in that book, and this is my blanket.”  Jamie climbs into my lap and pushes me to rock her. Now it’s singing time. Jamie sucks her thumb.

Sam comes to therapy at age four.  He is in foster care, and uses aggression to decrease risks of hurt. He tries to convince me how big he is; that he doesn’t need any help. I say he is big like his brothers and he is still a little boy who needs help for himself.  “Yeah. And sometimes I’m a little boy and then I need some hugs.” This is a huge risk for Sam.

Three year old Olivia and I have traveled together through her molestation, to a place of mending. Today she wants to ‘discuss’ her boundaries.  “At night do you think of me?” Yes. “If I was hurt, would you just cry and not know what to do?”  I say that even if I cried, I would call the police or the ambulance to get help for her. She asks me why and we talk about these helpers.  “Okay then,” she states.

Gavin is seven years old, and has already experienced depression due to major losses.  He purposefully puts a torch in the center of the tray, “so it’s shedding light on everything. Look at this guy’s heart- in imagination.  Because you can do anything in imagination. You couldn’t even sleep without it.”

The light in the circle of darkness offers hope to both of us.

“Thank you, Dott. Your understanding of our family has given me deeper compassion of how my little four year old is experiencing our transitions.  We’re back on track!” -Parent